you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
