PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
