Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
