It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
