I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
