it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
