but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it was like eating out sand paper
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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