My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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