Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
