3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
