I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
