i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
