oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
