I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
