I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
