Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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