shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Randomize
