p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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