i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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