What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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