im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
