I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
