I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
ugly people sure do ruin things
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
