u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize