If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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