we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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