i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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