My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
