I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize