Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
