she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
then he tried to convert me to islam
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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