I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
