nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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