Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
