So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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