Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
