what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize