ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
