I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize