you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
