she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
