He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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