Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
