I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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