My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
