so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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