You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
