i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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