he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My breasts were aching with rage.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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