we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
