i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
