oh god the rape fog is back!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
