you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
