Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
