So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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