You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
