Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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