Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
