Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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