so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
