No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just blew my weed a kiss
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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