So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
