So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Randomize
