its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He did a backflip because drugs
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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