He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
